The Gender Divide in Parenting

If a mom can't make it into our office for an appointment, very often her husband will come with a list of his wife's concerns.  He'll hand me the notes to read, to make sure he's not forgotten anything he was supposed to ask.  In a similar vein, when I call a mom back about a sick kid and if the dad answers the phone, many times he'll say, "Oh, just hang on a moment, I'll get my wife on the line."  And while I wait, I'll wonder why he can't describe his child's symptoms to me.  The old feminist in me used to get irritated with such interactions, but being a wife and mom has mellowed me.  Dads are just more relaxed when it comes to their kids.  It doesn't mean that a father loves his child any less than a mother does, but moms do worry more.  Gross generalization?  Perhaps.  But motherhood and my experiences in pediatrics have convinced me of this.  If I were to send my husband with Sophia on a visit to her eye doctor or her allergist, I think I would make a list myself, to make sure he got all my questions answered.  Rob's a physician too, but when it comes to my babies, I want and need to be fully involved, with all my concerns addressed.