Sometimes I think I want a third child. Both my husband and I come from families of five, and five strikes me as a really cozy family unit. But this week I had an epiphany. While Max was busy at camp on Monday, Sophia and I ran errands, went out to lunch, and had a great time. But when I'm out with both of them, my stress level invariably rises, with the inevitable fighting on their end, the refereeing on my part, and just having to keep an eye on two kids at a time. Should I really add a third child to the mix? When a mom comes to my office with three kids in tow, she almost always looks stressed. I silently commend her bravery in venturing out with three young ones, but I'm guessing that in most of these situations, she has no choice, with no available sitter who can help. It takes a calm woman to keep her cool when she's out and about with three youngsters, and I am not one of these women.
I felt like a good mom when I shared some alone time with Sophia as we talked and laughed on our day out together. I'm afraid there would be fewer moments like that if I were to be stretched too thin if we had a third. I guess I should just call it a day, recognize my limitations as a parent, and try and do the best for the two kids I already have.
Hi Jean -- it's Colleen (Young) Teramae :)
ReplyDeleteI called it a day with my second child, and they are almost 20 years apart!
But seriously, your post made me think of my sister. After raising their daughter as an only child for 3 years, they decide to have another --- and get twins (a pair of little drama queens)!
They were overwhelmed from the start. Without the help of my parents AND a nanny I don't know how they would have survived.
My BIL is a urogynecologist, which makes one assume that if they decided to stop at 3, then they would do whatever they needed to do to ensure it would stay that way.
But no, 2 years later, they "surprised" themselves with another pregnancy (a boy). Shortly after his birth they decided to move to Hawaii (from CA) and my parents have been indentured servants ever since.
This past Thursday, she and her family packed up and headed to Disneyland for their first official family vacation. They are going to be up there for TEN DAYS with no one to hand their kids off to --- this has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE (they used to pay to have my folks travel with them).
It will be interesting to see how they make it back. I have a close relationship with my sister and she usually calls, emails or texts me daily; but I have not heard from her since they left!
always good to have more... like monica.. you are young and kids are lovely.
ReplyDeleteHey Jo
ReplyDeleteWe have three, and we just love it! True- it is not a civil as two, but sometimes all that chaos just adds to the fun. I can see why people have more and more.
Anyway, either way, I know you are a great mom - 2 or 3 kids :)
xo
M
I find it so much easier to enjoy one on one time with each of my children. The 2 together overwhelm me beyond belief. With that said, I am so very happy they both have each other and we have a beautiful family of 4.
ReplyDelete